I’m Over It

Hi I’m Ricky and I’m a 21yo stuck just being alive and present but not living, and I don’t know how to move forward in my life.

I’m frustrated and I’m not happy where I am right now in life. I’m trying to be though…

There are so many things that are not going how I would like them to go. Not to sound like a spoiled brat just because things aren’t going my way, but it sucks. Don’t get me wrong I am so blessed to be a SAHM for so many reasons but there are basic things that I wish I had back for myself and it’s like the world is intentionally working against me and I don’t really know how to move forward.

Just to name a few things that are currently bothering me…my car is down because of an unforeseen issue (I don’t really drive my car or go anywhere but it won’t turn on). I feel like a stranded duck that’s stuck.

I rely fully on my husbands income (I DO NOT like to ask for money or depend on anyone, I like having my own financial backup).

I don’t want to be where I’m living…There can’t be two kings and queens under one castle, it just doesn’t work. That’s all I’m going to say about this for a multitude of reasons.

I think the most major thing that’s been bothering me is that I gave myself away. I completely gave up who I was for people that I love and I am trying to be a more mature and happy person but it all comes back to the same stuff. I would, for once in my life, just like to be myself without anyone else’s input.

YES…I am complaining.

NO…I can’t really do anything about my situation right now.

YES…I realize there are individuals who are in a worse situation in life then myself.

6 Ways To cope with Bad Mental Health

Nobody wants to talk about touchy subjects like post partum depression, suicide, depression, anxiety, or anything regarding mental health. But it needs to be talked about. How do you cope with it?

I personally suffer from post partum depression, anxiety, and paranoia and here are a couple of ways that I cope with it that may help you too.

Seek Help From Your Doctor

The best thing that you can do if you are having any of these issues and you are aware that there is a problem is to talk to your doctor. Your doctor is the best person to diagnose and help you in coping mechanisms to help your situation.

If need be, a doctor can prescribe medicine, refer you for therapy, or help you by suggesting activities that lower stress and anxiety.

Be Open To New Activities

One thing that definitely helped me was finding new ways to keep my mind busy. I tend to dwell on all the negative thoughts when I’m depressed so anything that gets my mind off of those thoughts helps.

You could do things like read a book, watch a movie, take a walk, pick up a hobby like crafting or baking. Anything that makes you feel better and brings a little joy to your life.

Take Care Of yourself

I don’t care what anyone says, appearance and how you feel definitely affects how you act and think. It never hurts to take care of your body and mind.There’s so many things that you can do to just boost your moral even if it’s for a couple of hours.

Go have a spa day, take a relaxing bath/shower, get your hair done or your beard trimmed up, Put on makeup, or put on a nice outfit. The list is endless, if you look good and feel good physically it definitely helps your overall attitude and outlook on the day.

Be Productive For a Positive Outcome

Keeping your mind busy is an excellent way to help your mind from slipping into undesirable thoughts. *I don’t mean ignore any serious issues by any means.

However instead of brooding over crazy thoughts you could do chores, work out, or go grocery shopping. This kind of goes hand in hand with having new activities, except your not doing it to just keep your mind busy, your doing it to get an end result that gives physical benefits. You do chores to have a clean home, work out for a better body, and go grocery shopping so that you have food.

For example I started to blog, which for me keeps my mind busy and gives me a daily goal as well as indirect social interaction. That benefits me because I don’t have to leave the comfort zone of my home just to socialize or vent my frustrations. My end result is I was able to socialize and find therapy in venting.

Whatever you decide as long as it brings a positive benefit for you. It doesn’t have to be anything special it can be just normal activities of daily living.

Vent

One thing that I would recommend is finding a way to vent your frustrations. Anything to get how your feeling out of your head.

Go to a therapist, vent to a friend, write your thoughts in a journal, write a book, blog, paint/draw, create art, or vlog.

Some people when they vlog or blog even take away the comments section of their post so that they don’t have to deal with others negatively regarding their personal issue. That is an option as well if that helps.

1-800-273-8255 NSPL Hotline

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If you are having any suicide thoughts or tendencies or feel like a physical threat to yourself or anyone else I urge you to call the hotline and seek help.

Please don’t take any harmful actions towards yourself or anyone else, if all else fails please know that the hotline is always open if you need guidance, or someone to talk to.

If you or a friend knows of someone who is having harmful tendencies please seek guidance from the hotline, or a doctor. If the situation is dire to the point where you can no longer keep contact with someone that is having these tendencies please call your local authorities to do a wellness check on them, you just might save a life…

  • You can call, visit the website, or do online chat with real individuals that are trained to help. If you visit the website there are multitudes of more in depth information that you or someone you may know might find helpful.

P.S.

I am not a licensed doctor or therapist these are not diagnoses they are just some things that helped me personally and I thought that it might help someone else who is trying to find a way to get through the rough thoughts and dark times in their life.

Don’t Let Fear Decide Your Future

Fear is as fear does. How can you move forward in life if you are always scared? Yeah you may be scared to proceed with something that you want to do but if you don’t try you’ve failed before you started.

There will always be fails after trying. It’s only natural. You have to fail a couple times to succeed in whatever you want to do.

But if you let your fear of failure stop you in your tracks, you will stay stagnant in your life and won’t know the luxury of moving forward and bettering yourself.

Please don’t let your fears halt your future from being great like it should be.

If You Woke Up With No fear, What Would You Do First?

I would start a Youtube Channel or start a non waste soap/bathbomb/candle business…What about you?

If I were to wake up tomorrow with absolutely no fears whatsoever I would start up my YouTube channel. The crazy part is that I already have a channel set up and ready to go but I’ve second guessed myself and now I don’t know what I want to do for videos.

The plan that I had was set up videos and do postpartum workout videos…But then I had my baby and I got self conscious and I was always tired. You know…The basic excuses.

OR…I would start up a non waste environmentally friendly soap, bath bomb business, and candle business. I actually had set money aside to do so but I found out I was pregnant and I had to move into my husbands mothers house to help her financially as well as spend time with his grandmother before she had passed away, she passed away in August 2019…7 months after we moved in.

If you didn’t already know preparing for a baby, moving, and still having bills cost a lot of money. So there went all my savings for my business.

So If I woke up and had no fears, the very first things I would do is start my YouTube and my business. PERIOD. POINT. BLANK

What would you do if you woke up with no fear? Why?

What do you think I should do? Any advice?

Don’t Stop Until Your Proud Of Yourself

Whatever you aspire in your life DO IT! It can literally be anything at anytime. Live your life to the fullest and make yourself proud. You don’t have to please everyone but you should at least make yourself happy by doing things to make yourself happy, things you can find your own passion in.

What makes you proud to be yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

Respecting The Value Of A Life

Life is fleeting and many people take it for granted Many people have no respect for mortality even though it can be ripped right from underneath us as quickly as it was given. Tomorrow is never promised so we should all be respectful for the time that we have already spent.

I replied this to a fellow blogger regarding Kobe Bryants unfortunate death and my own honest words moved me to the point of writing about what I had said.

It took me awhile to figure out in what words should I regard this topic.

I just feel like people do not respect the value of a life, a soul, a being that walks this earth. Very few care about their neighbors let alone family and friends. So many disrespect their own life’s and others by not taking care of themselves. It’s one thing to have medication prescribed by a doctor or drink a glass of wine to relax or even to have a disease like addiction. It’s a whole different ball game when people start drinking and using drugs to an excessive point to show off for social media or gain popularity. That to me seems silly and a waste of someones life to destroy themselves for “FUN”.

There are other situations that made me want to touch this topic too. Like gang banging…There was a situation in my city regarding gang affiliations and a 21 year old was gunned down. When the suspect turned himself in he said he had shot and killed the unarmed young man because he was intimidated by him. No other reason, no previous issue with the man, they didn’t even really know each other. Yet he was still able to carelessly take someone else’s life without any regard that the young man was someone’s brother, son, nephew, and friend.

Even pollution made me think about life because nobody ever thinks the container that they threw away could possibly kill an animal or get stuck clear across the world in sewage right in front of someone’s home.

Every action we make has tidal wave effect and can create a strain of events that can impact someone or something else’s life. But not enough people care as long as they get to do whatever they want and nothing negatively impacts them. It’s ok as long as it’s not their problem.

This is our sad world that doesn’t respect life. The lord can giveth and he can taketh away. Life will come and go but it’s how you use and respect it that gives it value.

What makes life valuable to you?

If you could go back in time, would you do everything the same?

Years pass and we learn from our mistakes or let them take us down. But, would we make those mistakes again if we knew then what we know now.

My husband and I talked about our past today and he asked me if I knew then, when we got together, what I know now, 4 years in, would I do it all the same.

Because he would….

I would…but I wouldn’t… I can’t say for sure that my 16-17 year old self would decide to be with him if I knew what all it took to get to where we are today. But, if I could talk to my younger self I’d tell her to do it but take her time.

I would be a parent to myself and tell her to take her time and figure out who she was before getting serious with a young man. I would tell her to learn more about her spouse and set boundaries to prevent the worst outcomes and gain mutual respect. I’d tell her to live on her own before moving in with her boyfriend and becoming a mother.

Love has no time limit so I’d tell her to really take the time to grow love and not rush to be a wife and mother before she got a chance to be herself.

If you could go back in time and re-do something what would it be and why?

If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?

Quote Of The Day

The outcasts of society are those who have Been lost to hard Times of many kinds. We do not know their stories of how they became the way they are therefore we should not throw stones at someone else’s glass home.

Be gentle and kind to others.

The homeless man could have lost his job and home out of no fault of his own.

That teenager who is overweight may have a health issue that they can’t control.

The child who is screaming in the store may not be spoiled but could have autism and be frustrated in a communication barrier.

We do not know the story behind those who seem worse off then us. So instead of judging we should love them anyways whether they are like us or not.

Personal Noise Pollution

There are so many things that create noise pollution but I don’t think they all are bad.

When I say personal noise pollution I’m talking about mentally for people as individuals. Not like city noises that get in the way of your work. I don’t know if there’s an actual name for it though, if there is please let me know.

For me sometimes when too many sounds are going on at once I get information overload. Like when you have multiple people talking to you at once and you can’t focus or comprehend and it makes you mad or feel chaotic. Too much at once…As the Artsy madwoman (a YouTuber I watch) says…too much muchness.

But on the other end of the spectrum, I suffer from depression bouts and silence bothers me. Being alone in a room full of people bothers me. It’s like leaving my mind to its own devices. My mind takes things to the point of overthinking and over exaggeration. So sometimes it’s really nice to have the distraction of someone to talk to, hearing street sounds, or blaring music. It drowns out the negative depressive thoughts.

What is personal noise pollution for you? Is it good or bad? Or both….

Quote Of The Day

For a long time I thought about my wants and dreams but I felt like I had no way of achieving these crazy goals so it was easy to give up. But when you go through with your crazy dreams so much good can come your way.

It could be anything that you dream of like love, a career, or a successful business. But nothing will ever come of it if you give up before you even start.

Closed mouths don’t get fed and questions never get answered if you don’t ask. But why give up if it continuously haunts you to do better for yourself?