Have you ever looked at someone and saw them living and walking in pure chaos? I did today as I took my daughter to her doctors appointment. I watched a woman and her 5 kids as well as she had a older man with down syndrome with her. I watched her and I wondered…what strife she has gone through in her life to have her in a situation like that.
We sat in the waiting area for awhile with them. It was a busy day at the pediatricians office. So I watched. I watched as she sat there and let all her kids scream, fight, and bite each other (literally).
I watched her let her youngest daughter, maybe two, walk up and hurt her finger in the door and then get upset that her sibling wasn’t watching her…The whole time she was sitting on her phone being nonchalant to her own kids.
I watched her leave and only take one child into the doctors office as she was called back.(Assuming that it was that Child’s appointment)
I watched her leave the oldest of the five girls in charge. the girl was no older then maybe 10 or 12. She had trouble with all the kids running around screaming and had to watch all of them and the grown man with down syndrome. She looked so stressed.
I sat there and it made me want to help. But where I’m from you have to mind your business, especially if you don’t know the people involved, which I did not. You can’t tell someone else how to parent or offer help because people get offended and bothered. She had enough going on without some stranger with a baby chiming in.
I just wonder what happened in her life for her to have that many children and be completely nonchalant about their behavior and to put the responsibility that was hers on her eldest child. Was she stressed out, overwhelmed, or burdened? I don’t know I haven’t walked in her shoes. I’m in no position to judge. I just wonder what life is like for her.
For a long time in my life it was nothing. Nothing was spectacular, nothing was special, I was going day by day.
Then my husband came back into my life my senior year of high school. It gave me an extra oomf to live. A reason to look nice and do nice things. He gave me a reason in that time of my life.
After awhile we weren’t enough for each other. We almost didn’t make it. He was going to allow things to crumble and I was going to allow him to leave. You can’t keep someone/something if it doesn’t want to be kept.
But then we tried with each other again, one last time.
The VERY next day I found out I was pregnant, and our worlds became one again. So to answer the question my husband is the apple of my eye but my child is the light of my life, and I’m sure it’s the same way for him.
What/who lights up your world? Why?
Years pass and we learn from our mistakes or let them take us down. But, would we make those mistakes again if we knew then what we know now.
My husband and I talked about our past today and he asked me if I knew then, when we got together, what I know now, 4 years in, would I do it all the same.
Because he would….
I would…but I wouldn’t… I can’t say for sure that my 16-17 year old self would decide to be with him if I knew what all it took to get to where we are today. But, if I could talk to my younger self I’d tell her to do it but take her time.
I would be a parent to myself and tell her to take her time and figure out who she was before getting serious with a young man. I would tell her to learn more about her spouse and set boundaries to prevent the worst outcomes and gain mutual respect. I’d tell her to live on her own before moving in with her boyfriend and becoming a mother.
Love has no time limit so I’d tell her to really take the time to grow love and not rush to be a wife and mother before she got a chance to be herself.
If you could go back in time and re-do something what would it be and why?
If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?
My baby was laughing at someone else pooping…
Yeah I had an embarrassing mom moment. Last week I went to pick my husband up from work (I jacked his car for the day because mine is out of commission currently) and I had to feed my baby.
He was closing up his shop and there was like nobody accept three others on the building so I went to the restroom and proceeded to breastfeed. 5 minutes goes by and someone walks into the stall next to mine.(The kind of stalls you can’t see under)
I don’t think she knew we were in there but she proceeded to do her business and with comical sounds made all the flatulent and “plop” sounds.
I stayed quiet…my baby did not!!!!!
My baby then unlatched and started laughing from hearing the sounds and started hitting the toilet paper holder so it was now known that the other lady was not alone.
I really hope she didn’t see my house shoes on the way past her stall because I couldn’t wait to scoop up my baby and evacuate the premises.
Being a stay at home mom is great but there are so many things that you don’t know or realize that you’ll be going through.
When I became a stay at home mom I thought that it would give me more freedom to do as I please whenever I felt like it. Now don’t get me wrong there are so many great benefits of being home with the baby. I get to raise my child the way I want to not a nanny, grandparent, or daycare person raising my baby. We also don’t have to pay for daycare because I’m at home watching the baby. I have to say that the best part of being at home with the baby is that I am always here for each one of her milestones. I am truly blessed that I don’t have to work right now and that my husband can cover all the bills.
But there are also cons that go with this full time commitment. That’s that crazy part is that when you start being a stay at home mom, most people don’t realize it’s not all fun and games. You still can’t do what you want when you want to. Everything is focused on the baby even when you personally need to eat, use the bathroom, or even do laundry you can’t just get up and do it with a baby that depends on you for everything.
I found out the hard way that financially I have to depend on my husband because my job is being a mom and that doesn’t pay in money and 401k. To me it was pretty hard to give up my financial contribution and freedom. I can’t just get up and go anywhere I want to either because I have a baby. which means I have to figure out how to get me and her ready, pack everything in the car, and take myself, her, and her accessories in and out of the car every time I want to pop into a store.
Not to mention it is so easy to forget what day of which month it is. It is so easy to get cabin fever or depression from just being in a house staring at four walls with a tiny human that yells at you for everything.
But as time goes on you cope and get used to having a routine. Life becomes easier. Finding ways to take care of yourself and the baby becomes easier too. Life eventually works itself out for you.
So today marks the day that my daughter turns seven months old and that doesn’t really seem like a huge milestone like walking or talking. But by the grace of god my child has made it to seven months healthy and so alive in body and spirit.
I am so blessed that my child wakes up every morning. She learns, develops, and progresses every single day.
I speak for ALL parents when I say that the milestones for a baby are huge. As the months have gone by I have watched my daughter grow from a tiny cell inside my belly into a vibrant baby girl.
I wonder if other parents are like me and have a routine with their baby then all of a sudden the baby seems like a whole kid and more independent. I look back on pictures of when I gave birth and my daughter doesn’t even look the same. I think back to those first couple months and think… wow my baby was more like a tiny, noisy, loaf of bread and now she’s a moving human being that laughs and plays and has a tone of voice when she babbles.
Every now and then I talk to myself and ask rhetorical questions like “when did she start sitting up on her own?” or “who the heck told her she could be so sassy?” and in reality I know she’s just learning who she is and developing her own personality.
Seven months seems like just another month to most people but to parents we have to enjoy and savor every month, minute, and second.
By no means do I want to offend anyone’s religion, ” A mother is the name for god on the lips and hearts of all children.”(-William Makepeace Thackery) this hits home for me on a personal level and I watch other mothers and what this may mean to them.
From the start of a child’s life they do not know of religion or a “GOD” but they do know their mother. You see babies cannot really see when they are born so the first connection that they make is normally with their mothers. They know their mommy’s by smell, heartbeat, feel, sound, and skin to skin contact. They feed from their mother. As they grow into children most kids are most comfortable with their mom, this is why a lot of kids act unruly around their mothers because they are that comfortable to be their full selves.
The quote ” A mother is the name for god on the lips and hearts of all children.”(-William Makepeace Thackery) hits home for me because as my baby grows I realize she makes new connections and relationships with others, but the bond between me and her is thicker than blood. As a newborn and even in the womb I realized I am my child’s lifeline. She is now almost five months old and she looks to me for comfort. She calls to me for anything she needs.
Time will pass and all babies will grow to be independent from their mothers, but that will not change the instinct that mother was there from the beginning. That bond is a lifetime contract between mother and child that can never be broken.