If you could go back in time, would you do everything the same?

Years pass and we learn from our mistakes or let them take us down. But, would we make those mistakes again if we knew then what we know now.

My husband and I talked about our past today and he asked me if I knew then, when we got together, what I know now, 4 years in, would I do it all the same.

Because he would….

I would…but I wouldn’t… I can’t say for sure that my 16-17 year old self would decide to be with him if I knew what all it took to get to where we are today. But, if I could talk to my younger self I’d tell her to do it but take her time.

I would be a parent to myself and tell her to take her time and figure out who she was before getting serious with a young man. I would tell her to learn more about her spouse and set boundaries to prevent the worst outcomes and gain mutual respect. I’d tell her to live on her own before moving in with her boyfriend and becoming a mother.

Love has no time limit so I’d tell her to really take the time to grow love and not rush to be a wife and mother before she got a chance to be herself.

If you could go back in time and re-do something what would it be and why?

If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?

Personal Noise Pollution

There are so many things that create noise pollution but I don’t think they all are bad.

When I say personal noise pollution I’m talking about mentally for people as individuals. Not like city noises that get in the way of your work. I don’t know if there’s an actual name for it though, if there is please let me know.

For me sometimes when too many sounds are going on at once I get information overload. Like when you have multiple people talking to you at once and you can’t focus or comprehend and it makes you mad or feel chaotic. Too much at once…As the Artsy madwoman (a YouTuber I watch) says…too much muchness.

But on the other end of the spectrum, I suffer from depression bouts and silence bothers me. Being alone in a room full of people bothers me. It’s like leaving my mind to its own devices. My mind takes things to the point of overthinking and over exaggeration. So sometimes it’s really nice to have the distraction of someone to talk to, hearing street sounds, or blaring music. It drowns out the negative depressive thoughts.

What is personal noise pollution for you? Is it good or bad? Or both….

She’s From Naptown

She was raised between the country and the city. She had the humbleness to sit and listen to cicadas at dusk and the rawness to fight in the streets.

She knew what it took to roll with the dogs and what it took to be a classy young lady

She cooked with all her soul and loved with all her being

She had a unique look about her, and knew she could have any man or woman in one look…mind and body

She had finesse at its finest quality

Hair so black it had a blue sheen

Eyes a mossy emerald green

Skin a tone of olive only found in lands over seas

She’s home grown…but exotic

She’s an enigma

She’s a Raven in disguise

Embarrassing Moment #1

My baby was laughing at someone else pooping…

Yeah I had an embarrassing mom moment. Last week I went to pick my husband up from work (I jacked his car for the day because mine is out of commission currently) and I had to feed my baby.

He was closing up his shop and there was like nobody accept three others on the building so I went to the restroom and proceeded to breastfeed. 5 minutes goes by and someone walks into the stall next to mine.(The kind of stalls you can’t see under)

I don’t think she knew we were in there but she proceeded to do her business and with comical sounds made all the flatulent and “plop” sounds.

I stayed quiet…my baby did not!!!!!

My baby then unlatched and started laughing from hearing the sounds and started hitting the toilet paper holder so it was now known that the other lady was not alone.

I really hope she didn’t see my house shoes on the way past her stall because I couldn’t wait to scoop up my baby and evacuate the premises.

I HIT ONE OF MY BLOG GOALS!!!!

I am happy and so grateful to have hit 50 followers on my blog. This is one goal that has helped me keep my head above water with this blog. Just something to look forward to in building a little Online community of my own.

I don’t see it as “the more followers the more money” but I do appreciate the support so much. Now I can set a new goal of 100 followers and see where that takes me in my journey.

A BIG THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE WHO COMES TO READ MY BLOG!! IT IS SO APPRECIATED AND GIVES ME SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO EACH DAY!!💛

He’s From New York

He’s introverted and quiet yet as smart as a mathematician. He grew up on the fire escapes of the concrete jungle. Draws no attention to himself yet he’s scared of nothing but God himself.

He walks fast to the heartbeat of the city and watches others before they can watch him.

He makes no noise when he moves but in dire situations you’d know that he was there.

He shows wisdom even though he is young.

He stands tall and lean…metabolism on point.

Hair curled in spirals with the sides clean and faded.

Jawline so chiseled it could cut you if you weren’t careful. With a beard like his you know he’s only about business.

Bedroom eyes that bleed cocoa brown and drips Amber in the sun.

Skin so tan you’d think he was mixed but his fiery Hispanic culture pumps through his veins not the blood of a black boy

Loves harder then most And willing to risk it all for those worthy of his love

He is like 1970’s nostalgia born again. Bronx born through and through.

They call him many names true, macho, but he is really the second Steven

Dealing With A Death In The Family

If you or anyone you know is dealing with a death of a loved family member, allow them to have their own time. People cope with things differently. Allow them the time to learn to deal with such a tuff time.

I just lost my grandmother due to complications during a procedure. She had over twenty tumors and 3 different types of cancer. During her recent procedure, she started bleeding internally and doctors couldn’t really contain it. She lost 75% of her blood and her liver and kidneys failed. She fought a long hard battle with cancer for the last 7 years. When she first was diagnosed she was given 6 months… 6 MONTHS…. 6 months turned into 7 years. Everyday with her has been a huge blessing.

She created a bucket list when she found out about her cancer and she knocked off a lot from that list. She received a great grandchild, got a house, seen my mom and dad get married after 25 years of being together…. She lived a rich life with the time she was given. We’ve had her for 7 more Christmas’s then we thought we would’ve had.

It’s been very hard for the rest of the family and I but we’re getting through it. I just hope she comes down to see me in my dreams every now and again.

Thank you for reading!

What are some ways you have dealt with a death in the family? How long did it take for it to settle in? How close were you with your passed loved one?

Leave a comment!

Much Love,

Ricky