I’m Over It

Hi I’m Ricky and I’m a 21yo stuck just being alive and present but not living, and I don’t know how to move forward in my life.

I’m frustrated and I’m not happy where I am right now in life. I’m trying to be though…

There are so many things that are not going how I would like them to go. Not to sound like a spoiled brat just because things aren’t going my way, but it sucks. Don’t get me wrong I am so blessed to be a SAHM for so many reasons but there are basic things that I wish I had back for myself and it’s like the world is intentionally working against me and I don’t really know how to move forward.

Just to name a few things that are currently bothering me…my car is down because of an unforeseen issue (I don’t really drive my car or go anywhere but it won’t turn on). I feel like a stranded duck that’s stuck.

I rely fully on my husbands income (I DO NOT like to ask for money or depend on anyone, I like having my own financial backup).

I don’t want to be where I’m living…There can’t be two kings and queens under one castle, it just doesn’t work. That’s all I’m going to say about this for a multitude of reasons.

I think the most major thing that’s been bothering me is that I gave myself away. I completely gave up who I was for people that I love and I am trying to be a more mature and happy person but it all comes back to the same stuff. I would, for once in my life, just like to be myself without anyone else’s input.

YES…I am complaining.

NO…I can’t really do anything about my situation right now.

YES…I realize there are individuals who are in a worse situation in life then myself.

7 thoughts on “I’m Over It

  1. As I near 50 I read your words as mine at many different stages in my life. It’s hard to “embrace uncertainty “ when you feel stuck. We are never promised an easy life indeed. And to suppress your emotions or feelings is more dangerous on your emotional and physical health….sharing this probably made you feel better. In keeping authentic to yourself, don’t forget to keep a journal on your dreams and goals. In the meantime, how fortunate your babies to have you! You’re a writer Momma! I was a young Momma too. The feelings of “stuck” can occur at many phases in life. I’m in one now, but have the power of Christ and my mind to seek ways to find joy in this very moment. I write down my blessings each day in my journal. If you woke up with amnesia today, who would you be? I bet those sweeties feel “unstuck” with such a great Momma. And if you were told you only have 6 months left to live, what would you be worrying about the most? There are days I can only be thankful for a roof over my head. And for that day, it’s enough. The more I pray for others, the less I worry about myself. But for certain, I know a community of support exists~just as this~where you are safe to BE. To just BE~ and you are a wonderful woman and Mom that just happens to be in a moment that will surely change when the winds of opportunity blow. Cars breaking down indeed sucks. If I were near, I’d provide a ride or even babysit to allow you “moments”. In the meantime, keep soldiering on and know you are “precious “ in HIS sight.

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  2. Spring is the time of change. Perhaps u will get a calling to do something important. Or u will go back to school. Start doing some hobbies like u used to. Recreating ourselves and growing into ourselves takes time. Focus on what u want to do. What’s in ur heart? This time rebuild a lovely person that u already r but change some things around. Get rid of the old u and become the woman u r inside. Eventually u will understand all this and know how to change what u must. In the mean time think about u….write things down as I find that helps as a visual tool😊

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