Sometimes The Past Hurts

Regrets, Infidelity, grieving, PTSD, What was in the dark shall always come to light…

I find that I’m very fortunate to live the life that I live. I am so very thankful for the people who helped me get to where I am and and the people who will help me get to where I’m going.

I am young, I don’t know everything, but I know sometimes past events hurt. Sometimes I have random moments where hurt feelings, bad intentions, or trauma pop into my head. I don’t know if it’s apart of depression or just because I’m over what happened but that doesn’t take the damage that’s already been done away.

Sometimes the bad things creep in my mind and it just hurts. Even my own past actions, or finding out something that happened before me and my husband were together.

Just like some things move my heart positively and lift my spirits high, there are things that just hurt my heart to the core and make my throat swell every time I think about it.

It’s almost like an addicts relapse, anything can trigger it and it isn’t intentional.

How do you cope when the past hurt creeps in?

12 thoughts on “Sometimes The Past Hurts

  1. I hope this doesn’t strange and far fetched.
    Lately I have been opening up and telling more of my story here on WordPress.
    I am finding it to be quite liberating. Now that I am telling it I have no worry wondering if my past will come out to bite me in the butt.
    I am not sure that is good for everyone but for me it has been a cleansing and a form of healing.
    I just wrote a post I think yesterday about what led me to attempt suicide. I have really never told what was happening to me to my family and friends in Ontario.
    Sorry, for the long commentary!
    I hope you understand where I am coming from. I have a feeling you already know this.

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    • I love the long commentary!! That probably sounds super cliche but I love the interaction. I do understand where your coming from too. I’ve never personally had a suicide attempt but I dealt with a lot of friends and family who did…Like I was literally the person mending them or helping them “off the edge”. I am trying to kind of just put everything out there but I also think about my family and my husband and how they’d feel. Like I can’t just put my husband or family on blast. Thats what holds me back

      Liked by 1 person

      • I agree with you about your husband and child.
        It is strange when I was that down family did not come to mind. I just wanted the pain and the hurt to end.
        I heard someone talk about suicide, he made a comment something like this: “people who commit suicide are selfish”. I have a feeling that he has never known anyone that low in their life.
        I was raised even use to preach that suicide is sin. I no longer think that way. When someone is suffering with a mental breakdown I feel there ability to think rationally are diminished.
        Also, like you I love the interaction. This is the next best thing since we are not speaking to each other in person.
        I think that people that are in your circle of influence are blessed. It is not easy to move a person away from the cliff of abyss.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Family for me means everything. I do think suicide is selfish to an extent. I think it’s selfish because it does hurt the people you love and personally I’ve known people who threaten it just to get out of situations that they have caused for themselves. But there are others Who I don’t see as selfish because there are people who attempt or think about suicide and nobody wants to help them and nobody cares until it becomes their problem or until something really bad happens. I guess it depends on the circumstances. Where I live there’s a whole “trend” on trying to be depressed and suicidal for clout and fame this to me is selfish because it downplay the people who really need help.

        For me I don’t have anymore friends. Not because anyone’s bad but people forget about you when you have a kid if they don’t have a kid. So I live the social interaction here I NEED the social interaction here. It’s easier to get some things off my chest here too because there will always be people there to judge online or not but there are also many more people here that are lovely (like yourself) that I have the honor of conversing with. It helps with my depression as well.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I completely understand about your friends dropping off the grid now that you are a parent. It happens quite abit when there are children put into the picture.
        I have only one family member that I speak to.
        Only one best friend.
        So, like you all of my interactions on here are so important to me. I always look forward to reading, interacting with everyone on here.
        I love having conversations with you that are more than just a sentence or two.
        I am grateful that we follow each other.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Same here I am very grateful that we follow each other. Any kind of social media can bring about creeps and frauds but so far I think I’ve met some pretty genuine people like yourself. So far it’s really been my saving grace.

        The crazy part about friends is that even the one or two friends I had that have kids too (like a month or two apart from my daughter) they either ghost you when you plan something or like to do things like go clubbing and getting drunk…That’s not for me and that’s not the example I want to give my child. So even the people with kids seem wonky to me.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Even when we tell ourselves that it no longer matters…even we say things like, “it’s okay, whatever”…Even we do our best to move on..sometimes the past still hurts. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we carry around the baggage of our past like a badge of honor. But really, all of that baggage is just keeping us from being free and being all that God has called us to be. The past can weight us down, sometimes without us being aware of it–and keeps us from being in peace.

    I don’t want to live in the past, the past is full of disappointments, failures and regrets and people who have betrayed my trust. No one really wants to carry all that baggage around day after day, year after year. And yet, we do it anyway. Maybe not intentionally. Sometimes a hurt from the past creeps in when we least expect it. Other times, its in the back of our mind undermining us. Satan who is the father of deception wants us to live in the past. A year ago I made a decision to share my testimony hence the birth of this ministry/blog. I knew there would be risks in being vulnerable. But I knew, it was time to tell my story. Because my story is no longer a story of shame, it’s a story of grace and mercy and freedom in Christ.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I couldn’t have said it better myself Kim. All the hurt from the past clings to our souls. I think everyone should seek therapeutic ways to heal from their past even myself. With this blog I am trying to create/gain community that’s willing to put it all on the table. Even if we don’t know each other in person it could always help someone to get that hurt off their chest. I’m trying to learn to do so myself. You can’t move forward in life if you can’t let go of the past right?

      Like

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