I’m Scared but It’s Good That I Am

I’ve never been the type of person to really care if someone stayed in my life or not. But then my husband stepped out of the friend zone and into being my souls mate.

He stepped up to being my life long partner. I basically grew up with him in so many ways.

Let’s start by saying we’ve been friends since I was 11 or 12. Never had a fight or argument, as friends I mean. We never even realized that maybe one day we would be together. There were times where he helped me with my “first love” issues and I helped him with his. Then one day we lost contact and he graduated HS a year before me and I just left it at that. Like I said I did not really care because friends come and go.

Then one day right before my senior year of high school started he texted me out of the blue to be friends again. I remember the day because it was summer, warm and bright in the evening, and I was sitting between my bathroom and bedroom door on the floor. I looked at his text and literally said to myself “The f*** does he want after just up and leaving without saying s***.” But I went ahead and kept in contact.

After awhile of keeping in contact we eventually started dating. After growing up and being friends with each other we then started to grow up as adults in a relationship together.

He taught me how to drive, he was the first person to take me on a real date, we went to college together, he was the first (and only) person I slept with, we got a place together, and we had a child. I literally have spent most of my life with this man and I plan to spend the rest of it with him too.

But that’s why I’m scared… I’ve never been scared to lose friends but then he became more then a friend. Then Go gave us a babygirl and now I’m more scared then ever if anything were to happen to them. I couldn’t imagine them not being in my life or being able to protect them. But it’s good that I’m scared it pushes me to do and be my best for them.

What are you scared to lose?

What would life be like for you if you lost it?

7 thoughts on “I’m Scared but It’s Good That I Am

  1. God bless your home, Rae. What a sweet and great history you have with your spouse! You are blessed. It is okay to be concerned, just don’t live in fear and worry. I occassionally have similar thought, but I surrender them to God in whom I find my sense of worth.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Temi!! I really am blessed and I know I shouldn’t be such a worry wart. If we’re being totally honest right now out of the two of us my husbands the helicopter mom. The best thing I can do is know the dangers of the world and prepare my baby girl for it but to not fear it.

      Sometimes it’s hard to let go of control with my own life even when it’s completely out of control. But when I realize it’s out of control I give my life to God and entrust that he will guide me the right way in life. I’ve had to humble myself and do this many times and I know I’ll probably do it many more.


  2. This was really sweet. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my loved ones. You are right about being scared pushes you to be a better you because you know you are not just living for yourself, your living for your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sometimes that’s really hard to do too especially if circumstances make things that much harder. Like depression, being out of work, or just any kind of stressful situation really. But for our families we make it happen.


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